Michael Finnigan's Grandson

Michael Finnegan's Syndrome is a rare disorder that appears to be genetic with his grandson Patrick being the second ever reported case.

Eye-nvy

David Coates is the first man in history to have his sight restored with the installation of a piece of revolutionary technology, a bionic eye. David's eye, capable of revolutionary feats of vision, has sparked controversy and envy in the royal ranks with Prince Charles expressing his interest in obtaining one of himself.

Utterly Disgusting

Smelly-O Berlusconi

For those not familiar with Berlusconi, he is an ejaculating penis with an Italian Prime Minister attached.

This man cannot determine whether it is the Italian Prime Minister's excuse for sleeping with underage women, his general appearance, his ridiculous policies or just Berlusconi's odour, but one or more definitely stink like sh!*. The public seemed to be just as disgusted with this leader as this man is.

Grand Theft Ballerina

A recent report states that Ballerina theft is up 30% this year. The thefts have caused major disruption to many performances the likes of which include The Nutcracker and Swan Lake.  This CCTV footage has captured one of the culprits in action.

Introducing: Captain Egypt

Captain Egypt is a self-proclaimed super hero arising from North Africa. Captain Egypt's reign has already seen a drastic fall in Pyramid Schemes. Denial is no defense in this hero's eyes.

Training Blues

PUTTING HIS BEST FOOT FORWARD

Neil's head injury still appears to be causing eye-foot coordination problems but specialists assure us he will be back on this field in no time.



Americant

Douglas, unsure of what he was looking at, thinks it will make more sense upside down.